"One confused day, I happened to travel back home in the Metro rail, sitting beside a mad man. I gave a blank look at him and turned the other side, slowly getting into sleep. As the lamps started glowing, I felt I was pulled by the mad man into his soliloquy. I missed. I didn’t hear him initiating a conversation and felt he was mad enough to talk to himself. I turned back to see him smiling at me. I waited. And I don’t have a space to walk away from him.
Staying motionless and tired, I listened to whatever he was saying; on my way back home that very warm evening. To this day, I don’t remember much of his words, of what he mentioned about or what is was trying to say to me that evening. But one question, I couldn’t forget. His one little question that made me what I am today. I remember a spark in face while asking me, “What’s the shape of a heart? “
“Shape of the heart? “ I was taken aback and was still having a tired blank face to this question. He was silent and smiled a little. Amidst all the rail sounds and public, I couldn’t gather enough strength to yell at him and reply,’ I don’t know and Get lost.’
Getting down, I turned back to the mad man who sat at the window staring me. I could see him starting to smile through the misty window that slowly dissolved into the darkness of the tunnel. I walked home. And we departed, just like that.
I know I lived a machine life. Logics, Reasons, Evolutions, formulae, Calculations and results. So small was my then big world. And I never had a reasonable relation with this world other than what we say a part of big clock. I felt like I was just a gear in this big clock. Apathetic, in a nut shell.
That evening, I pulled out all my personal journals to calculate the Shape of a human heart. And I got the shape, but not the same evening. It took me days. Every day, I intentionally took the late train to avoid the mad man. I was equally egoistic to take up the situation of being answerless. I felt all the knowledge of mine was slowly getting helpless. Day by day, I shrunk inch by inch, growing big inwards. As it was occupying much of my time, I felt the heart is more than a pumping machine. Link by link following every source I finally landed on a mystic time frame, mentally very near to the madness. Surprisingly I didn’t cry, I was just smiling all through this pain. It was when I opened my mind to the world around. It looked amazingly clear.
I ran to the station, breathing heavily, packed up my whole mind to meet the mad man and give him the answer. The answer to his simple question. It was night and I couldn’t find him yet. I searched for him every train that stopped by. Holding my sight, I waited for him the whole night but I didn’t get him. I just ended up myself in my office disappointed. I couldn’t find out what happened to him. Till date, every evening I make a round the whole platform to make sure he is somewhere near. I just dint get to him anymore. It’s when I wrote my first line.
It goes like “WHEN YOU KNOW ABOUT LOVE, YOU ARE RESTLESS AND NONE WILL APPEAR MAD AND FOOLISH.”
And may be that’s the reason why I couldn’t find the mad man anymore.
He didn’t come back to normal. He brought me back to normal.
-Aroon Che
Staying motionless and tired, I listened to whatever he was saying; on my way back home that very warm evening. To this day, I don’t remember much of his words, of what he mentioned about or what is was trying to say to me that evening. But one question, I couldn’t forget. His one little question that made me what I am today. I remember a spark in face while asking me, “What’s the shape of a heart? “
“Shape of the heart? “ I was taken aback and was still having a tired blank face to this question. He was silent and smiled a little. Amidst all the rail sounds and public, I couldn’t gather enough strength to yell at him and reply,’ I don’t know and Get lost.’
Getting down, I turned back to the mad man who sat at the window staring me. I could see him starting to smile through the misty window that slowly dissolved into the darkness of the tunnel. I walked home. And we departed, just like that.
I know I lived a machine life. Logics, Reasons, Evolutions, formulae, Calculations and results. So small was my then big world. And I never had a reasonable relation with this world other than what we say a part of big clock. I felt like I was just a gear in this big clock. Apathetic, in a nut shell.
That evening, I pulled out all my personal journals to calculate the Shape of a human heart. And I got the shape, but not the same evening. It took me days. Every day, I intentionally took the late train to avoid the mad man. I was equally egoistic to take up the situation of being answerless. I felt all the knowledge of mine was slowly getting helpless. Day by day, I shrunk inch by inch, growing big inwards. As it was occupying much of my time, I felt the heart is more than a pumping machine. Link by link following every source I finally landed on a mystic time frame, mentally very near to the madness. Surprisingly I didn’t cry, I was just smiling all through this pain. It was when I opened my mind to the world around. It looked amazingly clear.
I ran to the station, breathing heavily, packed up my whole mind to meet the mad man and give him the answer. The answer to his simple question. It was night and I couldn’t find him yet. I searched for him every train that stopped by. Holding my sight, I waited for him the whole night but I didn’t get him. I just ended up myself in my office disappointed. I couldn’t find out what happened to him. Till date, every evening I make a round the whole platform to make sure he is somewhere near. I just dint get to him anymore. It’s when I wrote my first line.
It goes like “WHEN YOU KNOW ABOUT LOVE, YOU ARE RESTLESS AND NONE WILL APPEAR MAD AND FOOLISH.”
And may be that’s the reason why I couldn’t find the mad man anymore.
He didn’t come back to normal. He brought me back to normal.
-Aroon Che
0 comments:
Post a Comment