There is this small guy who , I see daily,  plays the game in the best way anyone would imagine to. But from a little conversation with him I sensed not a trace of happiness. He talked about his ways and norms he created for himself to play the game and what he said is what exactly made him different from other players and this difference or lacuna stuck me point blank when he pointed to me a far away structure, I believe,  which is a stadium.
He sighed that he could never get into it and he had reasons. He said his play is unacceptable.  He constantly contributed himself to street plays and training guys he meet there which, with no second thought, fetched him nothing but those little smiles he never fakes.
Asking why he never tried to play for real audience, all I could get is a good volume of silence from his face with smile still hanging on.He asked me to define audience.
By the time its evening, he left me a note which I got to read in the evening bus, 
that said in plain words, " When you move out from your own self,  the world is then ready to lecture and becomes your audience. And you will need to play for them more than what you want to play for your self. I dont need that kind of audience that chase me beyond my dreams."
I folded it back to my diaries and looked onto the setting sun. The guy is there somewhere in the narrow lanes, playing with the street guys and when he finishes it he goes back to sleep smiling.  But isnt that victory? But what is real  audience he is talking about?
Lastly I learnt, a loser is not when he doesnt know the answers but he is really one when he himself doesnt understand the answers he is writing. And a winner is not when he completes his answers he is expected to write, he is really when his answers give rise to new questions. 
I just couldn't get him answers.  I feel some make their way to graves too early, too sober.
May be their life expectancies are far shorter than their breakeven points.
Or may be there is never a thing like Audience.
The bus hit the highway and I got into sleep.
- Aroon Che